How To Avoid A Speeding Ticket in Florida


I clearly do not understand why #Cadillac would put 160 mph on the dashboard if going 95 mph is too fast. I wasn’t causing any harm there were no other cars in front of me, none to my right, and no one was behind me. There was however this ugly brown car with what looked like it had gumball machines on top of the hood, shoot I assumed it was a clown car because I was so close to the #amusementpark Universal Orlando Resort!

Anywho, he proceeded to take my info (I tried to go live on Facebook but it didn’t work). When the officer returned with 2 extremely long pieces of paper like #CVS, he told me that the tint on my license plate was illegal. I said, “Well, Sir, why in the world would #Autozone sell me a tint-colored plate to put over my tag if it was illegal?” I strongly suggested to him that he give Autozone a ticket for selling illegal tint-colored tags. He said to me, “Ma’am drug dealers sell weed and that’s illegal.” I said where, where are there drug dealers selling weed – I want names, I need names and addresses!!!

Anywho, the officer told me I could go to #driverschool to avoid getting 3 points. 3 POINTS! Dammit, I get more points at #foxwoodscasino when I literally just put my money on the roulette table!!!

I then told him I should have bought a #horse and thanked him for not shooting me.

Seriously, it could have gone all kinds of crazy in these times in which we are living. #TravelingMercies work, but they won’t prevent you from getting a speeding ticket.

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