What is sorry – feeling distress, especially through sympathy with someone else’s misfortune; or feeling regret or penitence;

What is penitence – the action of feeling or showing sorrow and regret for having done wrong; repentance.

Can one simply say, “I’m sorry” when they have caused someone harm;

Can one simply say, “I’m sorry” when they cause someone harm over and over and over again;

Can one simply say, “I’m sorry” when the harm caused is irreparable;

Can one simply say, “I’m sorry” when the recipient is unwilling to accept;

Can one simply say, “I’m sorry” and keep operating in a behavior that is harmful;

The Bible says, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”

Apologizing is a way of recognizing our sins. It has a way of clearing the air between people and between you and God. When people apologize, they look for forgiveness for their sins. Sometimes, it means apologizing to God for the ways we have wronged Him.

Is there a difference between saying I’m sorry or apologizing – Saying sorry simply expresses your personal feelings about something. Apologizing implies that you are accepting the responsibility of the fault or mistake as well as expressing your regret about it. This is the main difference between sorry and apology.

When saying “sorry” didn’t work, I had to ask myself, “Lord, what is it You want me to do, what do You expect of me, what am I supposed to learn here. It was then that I received a call and the caller said to me something about Jesus saying He would create division between mother and daughter. I thought to myself, wow, I never read that or should I say that I read it but never paid any attention to it – until I found myself in a position where there was strife between me, my daughter and my mother and simply saying, “sorry” just didn’t seem like it was enough…

Not Peace but Division

Jesus said, ⁴⁹ “I have come to bring fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled! ⁵⁰ But I have a baptism to undergo, and what constraint I am under until it is completed! ⁵¹ Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division. ⁵² From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three. ⁵³ They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.”

Jesus would stress the cost of discipleship with these words:
“If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26-27)[2]
Jesus is not teaching emotional hatred for family members, but making it very clear that all relationships must be secondary to following him. Even parents, even a wife or husband, even children, even brothers or sisters, none of these could be first in their lives . Every loyalty and every love – even of a disciple’s own life – must be less than love for him. “Whoever does not carry their cross” – whoever will not die to every other loyalty – “cannot be my disciple.”

…above all else Christ must come first, a hard pill to swallow but a necessary medicine nonetheless…